The Quileute Mud Battle
by Full Moon Ballad
Summary: Did you ever wonder what Bella and Jacob's childhood was like? Let's look at the mud pie incident, for example...


**A/N: Wolfy and I were wondering what that mud pie incident with Bella and Jacob would have been like. This is the outcome of such wonderings, tiredness, and boredom. Be prepared, fair reader, for stupidity and randomness await. You've been warned.**

**P.S. Wolfy did the fight scene, so if this story seems better than my others, that's why.**

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Twilight. The closest time we've ever gotten close to owning it was buying the book and the movie. But that doesn't really count. *sniffle***

****Wolfy** Hi! FullMoonBallad did help me with the fight scene. Yes, we were both bored and tired, but this is **_**usually**_** our most "creative" time. Don't ask.**

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"No, Bells, you do it like this."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, close enough. Just try to curve it more; it's kinda spiky."

"Well, what if I _like_ it spiky?"

"Well, I don't like it spiky, so just do it my way."

"Your way's stupid!"

For some people, this may seem like the normal happenings of two small children. And to Billy Black, whose yard they were currently occupying, it seemed like the makings of a beautiful friendship.

That was before the mud went flying.

"Mud pies are _s'posed_ to look curved, not spiky around the edges!"

"Since when are you the mud pie expert!?"

"Since I said so! That's w…"

Jacob Black never got to finish his statement. His mouth was currently occupied with something rather…_eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww! _Bella was rocking back and forth, laughing her eight-year-old head off. The mud was supposed to have hit him, yes, but landing in his mouth was just a bonus.

After spitting out the mud, Jacob growled, "It's on!" And with that, mud was flung everywhere. Even from where Billy was seated on the deck, he could tell this was going to last a while, and decided to join the fun.

Bella took two shots in the knee, Jake got a face full of sludge, and Billy took three hits to the chest. The body count was rising fast. Billy's two older daughters had

come into the yard and were immediately pelted with mud. They ran back into the house. Young Quil and Embry were set to come over for a playdate, and arrived, only to be full of mud minutes later. Jacob was taking drastic measures, gathering rocks and branches and building a fort. He stole the water hose and made a "mud factory."

Bella, smart as she was, decided to build her own fort, but complete with projectile equipment. Using tree bark, two rocks, and thick mud with leaves, rocks, and twigs, she fashioned a crude catapult. It took down Jacob's fort quickly, leaving the "factory" open to raids.

And raid they did. Quil and Billy had teamed up, and Quil crossed enemy lines to the once defended mud stores. Dodging mud missiles, Quil proceeded to reclaim the hose, and took defensive artillery with him. He made it back to Billy in one piece, and Billy took control of Bella's catapult.

Realizing that she could trust no one, and was outnumbered, Bella went across the battlefield to seek Embry, who was also on his own. They partnered up, and together defeated Jacob and took him prisoner. They locked him in a small woodshed in the back. Quil and Billy moved in to Jacob's spot. Thinking they were preoccupied with Jacob, Quil decided to cross the boundary and raid the Bella/Embry camp. He never made it.

The two had been waiting for someone to try to raid, and ambushed him as he crossed the "line". Big mistake on Quil's part. He managed to get a few shots in before Embry hauled him off to the woodshed. Upon opening the door, Jake came flying out, shoving Embry and Quil over. He launched himself at the nearest mud pile, scooped up some ammo, and started chucking it at any object, inanimate or living.

By this time, everyone was covered with mud, and could easily blend into the forest, ground, or pretty much anything brown. Jake crouched behind the tree line, scanning the yard for pursuers. Quil, who had abandoned Billy to his own fate to join the Bella/Embry team, was following his new teammates as they prepared to take down the rest of the Blacks, starting with Jacob. They ambushed him from behind, taking him by surprise with mud, then jumping on him, then dragging him to the wood shed.

The final battle began. The yard no longer had grass, it was one big pool of sludge. The two teams squared off, studying each other for weaknesses. But before anyone could make another move, the slamming of a car door was heard.

Eyes round, the two teams slowly turned to the Blacks' driveway. Charlie was climbing out of the cruiser, coming to pick up Bella after work. Without realizing the time, the war had taken hours. Still hopped up on the adrenaline of the fight, five pairs of eyes widened at the new target. Evil smirks appeared on the faces of the warriors, united by a common enemy. Five hands reached back, preparing to fire the last round of ammunition.

Charlie never knew what hit him.


End file.
